the famous 3

*its a new day, or still a cold night *, a confusion that puzzles my mind. nonetheless, i am already perplexed to be honest. 3 a.m, just the right time for me to wake up from the horror of sleep, and to stop scaring myself from the fear of losing everything because i am an achluophobic like that.

new year, that soon?

*don't think of yesterday or today for they had passed, think of tomorrow for it shall come *. i hear and see people with tears of joy and on the top of the world lighting up the firecrackers as if we've won world war III. tomorrow is the beginning of 2012, new calendar, new chapter, new resolution. for me, instead of counting 365 days in a year just to change or to make resolutions, why not make everyday a *NEW YEAR'S DAY*. correct me if i'm wrong but i don't think you need to wait for 1st January every single year to slap your face and realize that you need to move on. i don't think i want to put my wishes or resolutions for 2012, at least, not today. i can do it some other time. i want to wash the dirt of cliche as i know there will be thousands of bloggers blogging about their new year's resolutions. :)

good blog bad blog

*you're too young live, too old to survive.* i keep on asking myself sometimes, who am i? am i just the lonely kid who doesn't have friends and spends most of her time writing what she thinks of the world OR am i a blogger who speaks for the others who are probably too scared to spill something out? the mystery remains, chained, tangled. whoever i am inside or outside, that doesn't matter because what i write matters, what i think matters, what i post matters. 

satisfaction

*the clock doesn't show the time, it shows regrets of yours for wasting every tick* as quoted from myself. lol. over past these few months, i have realized something that might be not that visible, yet brings a lot of changes in me. 

ta-da! this is what i am talking about. my weight! i have lost over 10 kilos in 6 months. my initial weight was around 56 and my current weight is 43. my jaws dropped when i saw the numbers. the happy feeling with a little bit of concern mixed together perfectly. i am happy because i can finally fit myself in the finest dress i've always kept safely in the closet. i am a little bit concern because i look sick and not healthy. sigh. getting yourself satisfied is hard. there's always good and bad sides of everything. what more can i say, i should just shut up and be grateful instead. :)

the word is * HA HA HA HA * hypothetically

*sometimes it tough, too soon to call it love but i want it to *, as quoted from Lullaby by Chase Coy. something that is so simple but indeed so true. * there's no us, its only you *, another example for a short but meaningful phrase i've always encountered countless times in my life. truth slaps your skin, lies loosen the strings of faith everyone has in you, and the flick of horror continues to spread like a disease and its contagious. ha ha ha! that's all i can say. but what can i do in return, we've gone too far to end the journey right now. might as well choke and gulp all fear that sticks and enjoy the ride. :)

the last saturday

No matter where i'll be, at any point or latitude, when i see beach sunset, i can't help but to think of you. The roll of pictures of memories we had plays along, keeping its pace together with the sunset. When the darkness arises, i will close my eyes, hoping that the moon will be watching over me as i douse the light because we will be dancing in my sub-conscious. 

secrets remain secrets

BOOM! suddenly i have pulverized lives of the three most visited websites in my life. plenty of reasons of doing so actually, but as day goes by, the reasons fade, i can't remember much in the first place why i deactivated my facebook, then twitter, then *hello earthlings *. let alone myspace nor friendster. Lol. quoted from shane dawson " don't suicide, just kill a part of you that you hate " , exactly what i did so far. i've killed all three parts of them, the ones that once brought me happiness, but somehow have been contaminated with disgusting stories and moreover BULLSHITS. well, that's the exact definition of life right. when thing goes wrong, if you can't fix it anymore, just close the book and take a new one and start a new story for everyone has a story to be told no matter how boring it is. take all the wrong turns to be paths to your chambered success. :)

new chapter

Salam,

so, i have put a full stop on * hello earthlings. *

i shall start scribbling and writing my thoughts here. 

i am SO STOKED! 

love ya! 

when you can't sleep at night

when you can't sleep at night, just know that i will always be there by your side in every heart beat of yours.